When sugar meets Anime
by E.P. Wat.s
Summary: i dont remember writing this. i woke up sorrounded by candy wrapper and this was on my phone. bleachxfullmetlxsugar high dont take seriously 100% stupidity
1. Chapter 1

**i woke up sorrounded by candy wrappers and i found this on my phone...i dont know why im, even uploading it. it's that weirdly stupid...i have problems...XP**

**disclaimer:**

**i really hope i dont own this...**

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><p>"Captian!" Hitsugaya stopped in his tracks as his currently drunk lieutenant ran up behind him and used his head as an arm rest.<p>

"Rangiku get your arm off my head."  
>"Aw...but captain your head makes a great arm rest...cos you're so short..." Hitsugaya's eye twitched as he extended his zanpakuto and aimed it at Matsumoto.<br>"Don't ever call me short."  
>"Why not?" She hiccupped and smiled like an idiot. "You*hiccup* are sho*hiccup*rt."<br>She woke up in squad four's recovery room the next morning.

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><p>Meanwhile in Amestris, Ed was having a similar problem. The colonel was using him as a personal armrest, much to the alchemist's displeasure.<p>

"Colonel bastard get your arm off of me or I'll-"  
>"You'll what? Alchemy it off?"<br>"Exactly."  
>"Too bad you're too short to reach it." His face was then introduced to Ed's automail fist.<br>"Brother! I know Colonel Mustang called you short but you shouldn't hit him! And if you have to hit him don't use your automail!"

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><p>"Captain where are you going?"<p>

"That is none of your business Matsumoto. But if you must know I am getting ready to go to the world of the living."  
>"What for?"<br>"To kill your mother."  
>"What? Why?"<br>"...it was...a joke..."  
>"Well it wasn't very funny."<p>

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><p>"Dammit my automail got damaged when I punched the Colonel. What's his face made of? Steel?"<p>

"Yes. Yes it is." Roy replied, walking past the Elrics.  
>"Damn bastard...we need to go see Winry now."<br>"We're going back home?"  
>"We have to."<br>"It'll be nice to see Granny and Winry again."  
>"Yeah..."<p>

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><p>Hitsugaya stepped out of the senkaimon into a town that was so spread out it seemed to be mainly grassy meadow like areas. He looked around and spotted a building with a sign that read ROCKBELL AUTOMAIL.<p>

'Automail? Where am I? This is not Karakura.' He quickly turned his head as he heard two people approaching.  
>"Alright Al I need you to be my sheild when Winry comes out. If I get hit with another wrench I swear I'm not gonna live to see another day." Hitsugaya pulled out his soul pager and tried to alert Soul Society of the fact that he was not where he should be but it was no use. He froze as he heard someone utter the s word. He shunpoed into the nearby house and interupted a certain blonde's rant about his height.<br>"I am not short and if you'd like proof I can give it." He said, rather coldy, drawing Hiyorinmaru out and aiming it at Winry.  
>"Whoa! Whoa! Put that away please! And where on earth did you come from?" She said quickly.<br>"Who the hell's this? And what's with the funny outfit?" Ed asked rudely.  
>"It's a shihakusho, runt." Ed was about to attack, but Al held him back. "And I am Toshiro Hitsugaya, Captain of the Gotei 13's Tenth Company. Now would someone tell me where I am?"<br>"You're in Resembool." Winry said kindly, dispite being hopelessly confused by what Hitsugaya had just said.  
>Ed broke free of Al's grip and lunged at Toshiro.<br>"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THEY CAN'T BE SEEN BY A DUST MITE YOU MOLECULAR SIZED PIPSQUEAK?"  
>"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MOLECULAR SIZED PIPSQUEAK? I AM TALLER THAN YOU!"<br>"BY HALF A CENTIMETER OF YOUR IMAGINATION! I'M CLEARLY TALLER!"  
>"Brother! Toshiro! Please stop it!" Both turned and glared at Al.<br>"STAY OUT OF THIS!" They shouted in unison.  
>"Ed, Toshir-"<br>"That's Captain Hitsugaya to you."  
>"Right, Ed and Captain Hitsugaya, would you both just sit down and be quiet? You're both short. Live with it." Winry left the room in annoyance as both started they're height argument again. "Brother if you don't stop shouting I'll pour milk all over your coat." Al said. It was obvious he wouldn't dare do anything of the sort, but it still made Ed sit down and stop yelling.<br>"Don't put that cow piss anywhere near my stuff."  
>"If you act your age I won't." He turned his attention to the slightly confused soul reaper. "So...why are you here? And why are you floating?"<br>"I don't know and...I don't know actually. I think we can float because of reiatsu and spirit energy but it might just be so we can look cool..."  
>"What?"<br>"I don't know. Ask Tite Kubo."  
>"...who?"<br>"Why are you a suit of armor?"  
>"We can't tell you that...?"<br>"Is it illegal?"  
>"...yes?"<br>"Why'd you do it then?"  
>"Ask Hiromu Arakawa."<br>"Would you stop talking about things I don't understand?" Ed asked. He was, obviously, confused by this conversation. He gave up and left when armstrong burst in wearing a tutu.

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><p>"Ichigo! Ichigo!" Ichigo turned to find Keigo flying at him. He smacked him with his bag, causing his nose to bleed. "Wah! Ichigo why do you do that!" A voice in Ichigo's head said "ask Tite Kubo." But he ignored it.<p>

"What do you want?"  
>"There's some sexy chick in black with a tattoo above her boobs outside! Prove that you're straight and come stare with me!"<br>"What? No. Go away."  
>"Wah? Mizuiro! Ichigo's being mean to me again!"<p>

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><p>Lust looked up at the building before her.<p>

"Karakura High School..." she said to herself. 'Well this definitely isn't Central.' She heard a noise and felt something flying at her from the left. She extended her nails and impaled a stuffed lion. "What the..."  
>"Th-this...writer is cruel!" Kon spluttered. The writer then ripped his limbs off and fed them to gluttony. The end.<p>

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><p><strong>do not take seriously or hold against me...please...i vow to lock up all writing materials before i drink soda or eat sugary things from now on. i swear. stuff like this wont happen again. ...i hope.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**for Noxy the Proxy who requested a second chapter. not as good as the first i dont think, seeing as last time it was unintentional, and this one was intentional but whatever.**

**please(hopefully) enjoy.**

**disclaimer: again, i hope i dont own this.**

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><p>"And then...and then she said 'stop breaking your automail runt!' And I was...I was...wait. what's going on again?" Ed asked, staring blankly at the fridge who, oddly enough, stared back.<br>"Well right now, you're blabbering like an idiot after cooking bathroom cleaner in the microwave. Which was not a good idea. Some genius prodigy you are."  
>"You're mean Mr. Fridge!" Ed moaned. The fridge, also known as Toshiro narrowed his eyes.<br>"I'm a mean fridge, am I?" He snarled, unsheathing Hyorinmaru. "Reign over the Frosted Heavens, Hyorinmaru!" Ed was then encased in ice for the next few hours, saved only by the Colonel's flame alchemy.  
>End of Happy Story 1~!<p>

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><p>Riza Hawkeye sat down at a table in the outdoor seating of Central's one and only Starbucks. She was waiting for the date she was set up with on Eharmon-I wanna shoot my boss in the head so . She had a feeling no one would come, because the site seemed really fake.<br>'Guess I'll have to deal with Mustang's pathetic lazy ass by myself...'  
>"Captain Kyoraku! What are you doing here?" Someone behind her said.<br>"Aw my lovely Nanoa~! I'm drinking this amazing drink! I think the hot women behind the counter called it coughy~."  
>"Sir I believe you mean coffee. And you need to get to work!"<br>"Fine, fine. I'll go. But only because you told me to, my lovely Nanoa~!" Shunsui got up and skipped away, singing Senor Wooly's song Billy la Bufanda as he left.  
>"Sometimes...I just want to shoot him so bad." Hawkeye smiled.<br>"I feel your pain." Nanoa jumped. And spun around.  
>"Who goes there? Is it the turkey again?"<br>'...da hell?' Hawkeye thought.  
>"I want to shoot my boss too." She said quietly. Nanoa heard her, and grinned.<br>"Guess we have something in common human."  
>"Human? As opposed to what? A pellican?"<br>"...sure let's go with that."  
>"Don't bosses suck?" Hawkway said as Nanoa sat down at her table.<br>"Tell me about it." Nanoa looked at Hawkeye and had an odd thought. "Wanna make out and claim we're drunk if anyone asks?"  
>"...alright." Hawkeye shrugged. They then proceeded to pretend to be drunk and make out, and steal candy from children and punch babies and eat rainbows.<br>End of Happy Story 2~!

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><p>'Im awesome. I'm sexy. All the girls want me. All the boys want me. Cos I'm hot like the fire that comes from my fingers. Oh yeah. I'm awesome.' Colonel Mustang thought as he strutted through the halls of Central Command, I'm Bringing Sexy Back blairing from his pocket through the Ipod he stole from a different time because Amestris ain't got no Ipods! Theys gots no Iphones either!<br>"Colonel Mustang~!" Armstrong said, shuffling towards Mustang LMFAO style. "I dropped out of ballet and decided to take modern dance classes~! What do you think?"  
>"I think you're a fool. And you want me." Mustang said winking. "And I think I'm a pony~! I want to be an airplane! No. That's not right." He said, shaking his head and looking at the script again. "I want to be a SEXY AIRPLANE! LIKE MY SEXY HAIR!"<br>End of Happy Story 3~!

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><p>"Ichigo! Come on! Why won't you come with me to stare?" Keigo whined.<br>"Do it yourself. Or are you too afraid to?" Ichigo taunted.  
>"Nuh ah! I'm not afraid! I'll prove it!" Keigo ran out of the school and jumped at Lust, screaming something about manliness. He ended up getting swatted out of the way.<br>"Humans..." Lust sighed. "Pathetic creatures..."  
>"So...cruel..." Keigo was then mawled by Kon, who screamed something unintelligable about not insulting the writer.<br>End of Not So Happy Story 1~!

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><p><strong>...yeah...<strong>


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